If You Only Knew
by The Bud
Summary: Something about Wolverine. This story was first posted five years ago and never looked finished. So I'm finishing it. Will tie into Anon.
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer:I don't own X-Men, please don't sue me, I'm just an old fashioned  
  
roughneck with no real mean intentions.  
  
  
If You Only Knew.  
  
"He had your eyes when he grew, Logan," She scribbled down on a yellowing  
  
piece of paper. "You didn't call yourself Logan, I never knew your name  
  
untill I almost ran into you again that day, you were out with a few friends,  
  
I had to listen, be close to you once more, that is how I found you."  
  
She kept going as a tear fell to further mar the paper. "I didn't want  
  
you to see my plight, nor my bulging belly."  
  
  
She looked back to the sleeping infant whom had made his appearance less that two weeks  
  
ago. Those ice blue eyes of his, would never change, never darken like hers, they  
  
were his fathers, his hair was his fathers, the little black whisps, unruly  
  
from the womb. There was little trace of the woman in her first child, save  
  
maybe the childs lenghth. She was taller than most and sparsley built.  
  
Her childs father was exact opposit, down right short and squat, but with an  
  
amazing accent. She never would have dated him, even that once, but his eyes,  
  
the same ones eminating from her child drew her otherwise. That very knight,   
  
she made love to Logan, and the next week, she missed her period, Logan, nowhere  
  
in sight.  
  
"A friend of yours, Victor, came, I don't know how he knew, but he trashed my apartment,  
  
nearly killed Jacob, your son's name, but we ran. I ran holding this baby with all my life  
  
and at times, it seemed we flew. I somehow managed to get to Salem, where you said you stayed."  
  
She wrote. "Harry, at the bar gave me your address and a piece of paper, Logan,  
  
I can't keep Jacob safe, you can, A mutant with a baby isn't safe anymore, please  
  
forgive me if our son has my desease, please." She wrote. " I know Humans hate  
  
mutants, but I know you wouldn't harm your son. I need to go home, if I ever  
  
even make it there. Please care for him, he needs you." She finished as she  
  
left the baby by the front step.   
  
  
That Night.  
  
"The baby is unquestionably yours, Logan." Beast said. "What I find  
  
questionable is, if this woman, presuming you didn't find a teenager  
  
to play with, was a mutant, and you slept with her, why does she think you  
  
are human?"  
  
"I don't do kids! And yer gonna eat those words!" Logan growled. "I  
  
thought the girl knew what I was, Beast."  
  
"You remember her?" Beast questioned as he handed Logan a diaper and the  
  
baby.  
  
"Yea. What am I surposed to do with this?!" Logan exclaimed.  
  
"Change your baby!" Beast pointed out. "Now, about the girl, what was her name?"  
  
  
"Sandra, and she was tall and beautiful, but when I went back to her place, she was  
  
never there." Logan contenued as he struggled with the diaper. "I lost touch  
  
over the months, though she moved. Can I get help with this?" He asked  
  
as the diaper tape stuck to his hairy arm. "How did she get past security, anyways?"  
  
  
"Near as I can figure, thats her mutation. The cameras can't see her, the electronic  
  
systems didn't catch her. A very potental Mutant." Beast said. "I can call  
  
Jean to help you with the baby, sence Scott's death, she's needed  
  
a little distraction, not to mention, she could use a little help with Raychel."  
  
  
"Thats gotta bite to give birth nine months after your husband dies." Logan said  
  
as he braved the tape ripping out hair from his arm, and getting peed on by his own  
  
bawling son.  
  
"Not as bad as thinking your baby's father wants you dead." Beast put blankly.  
  
"Yer right, mean, but right." Logan sighed, realizing the hard night he had ahead of him.  
  
"Can we find her?"  
  
"Not with Cerebro, she's impervious to all such things, remember?" Beast said.  
  
"We've ither need to do the old fashioned hunt, or we can use one of our resident telepaths,  
  
but if she's immune to that too, we just have to wait for her to return for Jacob."  
  
"Could he have both our mutations?" Logan asked.  
  
"I see where you're going, I'll look into it, he may develop nither."  
  
Beast replied. "Get to know your son, I'll be back with Jean and coffee,  
  
At least Jacob'll have a child his age to play with."  
  
"Thanks, Hank." Logan said as he cleaned up the wiggling ball of lung.  
  
"Hello Jacob. We'll have you alright in a little bit, and don't worry,  
  
you'll only have to wear pink diapers untill morning, but I won't tell."  
  
  
In The Morning  
  
There was another package on the door, this time the blood stained body  
  
of Sandra, and a note from Victor. "Not this time." it read. Her neck  
  
had been broken, but she hadn't been suffering.  
  
Storm, whom had answered the door, screamed. Ever X-Man ran to the door  
  
but only one knew the woman.  
  
"Sandra...." He nearly cried before growling about killing Sabretooth.  
  
"You have respocibility now, Logan, You can't run off on the drop of a hat!"  
  
Beast yelled holding Logan back. " Lets try to find her family, if we can't,  
  
you and Jacob were her family, we can bury her here."  
  
"Your right, but I can't let this go! He killed Jacob's mother!" Lgan grew agitated.  
  
"Do you want your son not to have a father ither?!" Beast reasoned.  
  
"He'll be back, you know he's probably waiting, watching you to see what you'd  
  
do. Let him think he won, then get him, take him down, whatever it is you do, just  
  
not now. your son needs you." Beast held.  
  
  
So he stayed, and the child grew. A year passed before the two knew,  
  
Sandra's home was never found, so she was burried on the grounds. The fall leaves  
  
came once again before vengince came back to this sleepy nothern town.  
  
Through shoes and coats and new fallen snow, the evil known as Victor, knew where  
  
to go.  
  
Part Two? 


	2. What You Cannot See.

Disclaimer: Once again, I have no permission to use the X-Men, please don't  
  
sue me. Jacob is my creation though, feel free to give him life. I have no rights to Blue's Clues, ither.  
  
  
That Which You Cannot See.  
  
"Happy first birthday, Jacob!" Logan exclaimed. It has been a difficult year,  
  
a rewarding year, a year to learn. Logan has learned to change diapers, make formula,  
  
hear his son's first words, and witness personal downfalls.  
  
"What would you like for yer birthday, Squirt?" The loving father asked as he  
  
tussled Jacob's black, unruly hair.  
  
From where an uninvited observer sits, the young boy's answer is barely auditable.  
  
This burly man, whom the stench of death is as sweet as a candy factory  
  
has a thing or two against this small family. His name, Victor, means triumpent,  
  
winner, but if anything, this man loses. He lost his humanity, a long time ago,  
  
he lost his son, Graydon, to a vengeful woman, and gain to a bullet in the whole  
  
mutant propaganda scheme. If anything, Victor only wanted a family, and he refuses  
  
to let his sworn enemy claim all he cannot have. Why should a man  
  
he hates so much, be so happy. Victor killed the boy's mother, and he did  
  
so with the greatest joy. Now he wants the boy, he wants him dead, rotting  
  
maggot infested soil, and he wants Logan to have to watch as his son caves away into  
  
dust.  
  
  
"Babies don't come from Daddy's tummy, I don't think I can do that one, Jaykee."  
  
The boy's father laughed. "How about a ninja man?"  
  
"I wike the blue!" Jacob expressed fondly. "Chocolate cake?" He asked.  
  
Like all one year olds, Jacob loves chocolate, and anything to drink, is milk,  
  
even if it's pop. Logan often wonders where he got that preferance from,   
  
and even comes to wish he knew Jacobs mother better, if only to see her in the  
  
child the two forged from a one night stand. It hurts to know that has to be  
  
explained one day.  
  
"Can I pway wif Raychel, Daddy?" Jacob questions. "I wike her."  
  
"As a matter o fact, Sprout, I think she's here now with her mommy." Logan said  
  
as he pointed to the two young red heads bounding down the path to the cabin,  
  
presents in tow. Raychel, just now learning the fine art of motor skills was more  
  
walking shakily, than bounding, and true to her roots, refused her mothers constant  
  
attemps to assist.  
  
"Happy birthday, half pint!" Jean exclaimed as she hugged the small boy.  
  
"Raychel has a present for you!"  
  
"I picked it myself!" Raychel exclaimed proudly. "Open it!"  
  
"A puppy!" He shreiked with joy as the dog licked his face. "Daddy!"  
  
"I see! What'r ya going to name him?" Logan asked.  
  
"I want to name him Wolvie!" He exclaimed.  
  
"You speak very well for a one year old!" Jean noted.  
  
  
The rest of the conversation goes on casualy, to the veiwer, these four look  
  
like a family, and the occasional long looks between Jean and Logan, do not go  
  
unnoticed.  
  
"Well! I got me a new plan!" Sabertooth grinned, his teeth glistning,  
  
and his face showing the lines of cruel intentions. He is surprised Logan, nor security  
  
hasn't noticed him yet, which leads him to belive that this is the one day  
  
holiday for all the systems, to check, repair and boost. "Perfect!" He thinks  
  
as he leaves to case the boat house, he had an idea. As for Logan not noticing,  
  
he was up high, and upwind, all is good.  
  
  
"Jacob, Why don't we go see uncle Chuck?" Logan asked. "I'm sure he'd love to see you."  
  
"Beast?" Jacob half asked, half demanded.  
  
"Yes, maybe he'll be there." Logans replied. "Lets go, Rug Rat!" He teased as  
  
the four headed to the sprawling mansion.  
  
"Tomorrow,"Jean began. "Remy and Jono are going out, If you'd like Jacob to spend  
  
the night, you can go out with them."  
  
"Much obliged Jeannie!" He said as Jacob and Raychel began to show weary  
  
from walking. "Ain't had much time fer me ta kick it lately."  
  
"Jacob, What else would you like for your birthday?" Jean questioned.  
  
"You might not want to ask that!" Logan whispered.  
  
"Why?" She said puzzled.  
  
"You'll see." Logan replied.  
  
"I want a baby!" Jacob announced proudly. "You can have babies!  
  
Daddy said so!"  
  
"Oh?" She said with an eyebrow raised.  
  
"He's curious, like me." Logan defended himself. "He wanted to know  
  
why you had balls in yer shirt! Honest! I nearly died laughing!"  
  
"You have baby?" Jacob asked, looking up solefully.  
  
"Ask Storm." Jean smiled.  
  
"Evil!" Logan grinned.  
  
"K." Jacob answered and dropped the subject.   
  
  
"Thats quite a son you're raising!" Jean whispered.  
  
"We are raising, Jeannie. We." Logan whispered back.  
  
"Logan.. I really don't feel like getting into that right now. Lets just  
  
enjoy Jacob's birthday." Jean sighed.  
  
"Momma!" Raychel called out. "What Unca Logan saying?"  
  
"How much you've grown, sweety." Her mother replied. "Oh look! We're here!"  
  
The door opens, almost by majick as both adults have full arms, and to a child,  
  
it is majick, but to the two adults, it is just the use of a power used millions of times.  
  
"Jubwee! Fireworks!" Jacob cries out as he toddles across the floor to her.  
  
"Ok.. just for the birthday boy!" Jubilee gives in as produced a biotechnic show from her  
  
fingertips.  
  
The children giggle at the show. Jubilee, herself is nearly seventeen now, but she  
  
still laughs herself.   
  
"Lets go see what Beast is up to? Shall we?" Jubilee exclaimed as she took the two children  
  
with her.  
  
"She'll be a great mom one day." Jean noted.  
  
"Yea.. no doubt." Logan said. "She had great foster parents here."  
  
"She always saw you as her father, or an older brother." Jean chit chated as she drew  
  
out the box of party favours from a closet. "You know, with all the talk about  
  
Jacob's birthday, Raychel forgot today was hers too! Isn't that strange?"  
  
She bantered. "She though the doll house we gave her was for being good!"  
  
"Didn't you tell her Happy Birthday?" Logan asked, trying to keep the mood light.  
  
"Yes, she thought I was practicing for Jake." She returned, trying to keep the mounting  
  
tension to a minimum. "Can you hang this while I blow up the balloons?"  
  
"Yea.. Need the heilium tank?" He replied.  
  
"In a minute, Some of these I want to fill regularly." She said.  
  
As the two worked on decorating, Angelo walked by and in typical  
  
Angelo fashion, smacks his head in an over done gesture and exclaimes  
  
"Just get it over with!!!" And runs down to help Jubilee with the children.  
  
"What was that about?" Jean asked.  
  
"I dunno." Logan replied. Hand me the tape, please."  
  
"Here." She did so absently, as their hands touched, sending blue flame  
  
down their arms. "Hmn.. you shocked me!"  
  
"Just my magnetisim." Logan replied with a grin.  
  
"By the way, the work you did on that doll house was amazing!" Jean conversed.  
  
"Weren't nuthin." Logan said as he tried to shake the effect Jean had on him.  
  
"Logan, I can read your mind..please.." She said as she looked away.  
  
As he was about to speak, Storm arrived with the cakes.  
  
"If I were to believe young Angelo, you two would have been found in a  
  
compromising positon!"She started. "And here you are on opposit sides of the room!  
  
Kids!"  
  
"Oh! Ororo! The cakes are beautiful!" Jean exclaimed, clasping her hands together.  
  
"Good job 'Ro!" Logan said as he placed the candels.  
  
"Beast was the geneous behind these, I merely asked Jacob and Raychel what they wanted  
  
for their birthdays. Why does Jacob think I'm giving him a baby?" She asked.  
  
"Long story, Ro." Logan replied turning red.  
  
"Oh? I would like to hear it." She asked regally.  
  
"Jacob wanted to know why I had balls under my shirt, and Logan had to explain things.  
  
I told him you could do that too." Jean put in.  
  
"Oh.. so long as that is all." Storm replied. "You are doing a beautiful job with the  
  
room, the children should never suspect."  
  
  
At The Boat House.  
  
Victor lurks, he waits, he knows that his residual thoughts can be picked up by  
  
the telepath, he knows he must not think, just know. Know what it is he's here to do.  
  
The door isn't locked, the woman can defend herself, there is no need for the door to be locked.  
  
"Logan expected me a year to the day. I'm early, he won't know what hit him."  
  
Was what this bohemeth thought before he came here this day. But now he must wait.   
  
If you don't think, she can't find you, but the fact of the matter is, right now,  
  
she's so distracted and confused, she wouldn't know a hundred men surrounding her.  
  
He finds his way in through the basement, the old boat dock, and finds his way through the  
  
house, using a techeque he learned on these grounds, leaving no thought trail. He passes the baby room  
  
and represes the uge to reminise about Graydon, his own lost child.  
  
He passes her bed room too, and also represses the urge to think what could  
  
happen on a pretty little bed like that.  
  
  
At The Party.  
  
  
"Daddy! Blue!!!!!" Jacob clapped his hands happily.  
  
"Momma!! My day too!!!" Raychel sqealed with delight.  
  
"Thats right, Pumpkin!" Jean said as she hugged the two.  
  
"So, Jacob, Raychel," Beast started. "What do you want for your birthday?"  
  
"Noooo!" Storm, Jean and Logan yelled as Logan placed his hand to stop  
  
what Jacob said.  
  
"I take it, the repliy isn't apropreat." Beast chortled.  
  
  
The rest of the party goes on, with only the small incident of a juice spill,  
  
then it was off to bed with the two children.  
  
"Is she asleep?" Logan whispered.  
  
"Yes. They had a busy day." Jean whispered back.  
  
"I'll see you in the morning?" Logan enquired.  
  
"Yes, Jacob needs breakfast, doesn't he?" She said.  
  
"Only your eggs do."Logan smiled shyly. "I swear, sence Jacob  
  
only will eat your cooking, I've gained ten pounds."  
  
"Good. You've done a great job with him." Jean said as the two began walking  
  
down seperate paths to the seperate houses.  
  
"We, Jeannie. We. We are raising them!" Logan stopped her. "Us, Together,  
  
whether you want to admit it or not, in all that matteres, we are a family."  
  
"Logan! The children!" She whispered harshly.  
  
"Talk to me!" Logan pleaded. "Please?"  
  
"Logan, Scott hasn't been dead two years yet! I can't think about these things  
  
right now." She contenued. "I have Raychel to think about."  
  
"And I have Jacob to think about." He said. "Please think about it."  
  
"I.. No. I need to go to sleep, I'll see you in the morning." She said.  
  
"Goodnight, Logan."  
  
"Night Red." He said as he turned towards the cabin.  
  
  
As she reached the boat house, the events of the day sink in and she is  
  
exausted. "Well, Ray, sweety, I guess it's time for a change and bed!"  
  
She breaths out as she changes her daughter. "There you go! All better!" She  
  
whisperes just as a blow knocks her vision blaque.  
  
  
"I guess I gocha, firecracker." Victor growls as he licks the blood off his hands.  
  
"Momma?!" Raychel screams as she tries to run from this horrid man  
  
"Not this time, Half Pint!" He howls as he takes the mother and child.  
  
He has a place not far from here, one with the equipment to handle this  
  
special woman.  
  
  
Later.  
  
"Daddy!! Food!!" Jacob howls. " Hungry!"  
  
"I'm trying Jake!" Logan said as he tries yet another batch of eggs.  
  
"No!" Jacob screams as he bangs the plate against his highchair.  
  
Logan has been trying for hours to get Jacob to eat, something, anything,  
  
but the child remains inconsolable and Logan wonders where Jean is. Even  
  
if she was mad at Logan, she would't make a child go hungry.  
  
"Alright Squirt!" Logan says as he unhooks the tray from the highchair.  
  
"We'll go find Jean and Raychel!"  
  
"Yay!!" Jacob cheers as they leave the huge mess to clean up later.  
  
They walk to the boat house and are there in fiveteen minutes,   
  
just enough time for Jacob to wet himself.  
  
"Something's not right!" Logan thinks to himself. "Saberetooth!"  
  
As the short, but well built man enters the home of his affection,  
  
he is shocked. The house is torn apart, pictures torn off the wall,  
  
in the bedroom, sheets and clothing are everywhere and in Raychel's room, a small  
  
spot of blood catches his eye.  
  
It wasn't vey big, just enough for a wound to gush just a moment, then  
  
stop to a tricle, probably even stop. Fear was in the air, not death,  
  
not sex, just fear. The last year came together, Sabretooth always went on  
  
about a red haired bitch that took his son when he was in the secret services  
  
in Germany. He knows the woman was Mysteque, and the child, the late Graydon Creed,  
  
Sabretooth has hated anyone even vaugly resembling her for nearly fourty years.  
  
Sabretooth hated Logan, for little else than he is.   
  
This is not the first time he had shown tendency towards Jean's non wellbeing.  
  
The fact that Jean has red hair is not the monster's only problem with her.  
  
One phrase works through Victor's mind when he thinks of her, one she said a long time ago,  
  
A time she got the better of him, and beat him to a bloody pulp, for even thinking  
  
to threaten her. "You are a firecracker!" She said as he went through a wall.  
  
"And I am an atom bomb! Coming here didn't solve your problem, Creed."  
  
She contenued as she broke open his lip. "It's the first step to ending it!"  
  
Logan knew from security files that Sabretooth had received that beating, and his  
  
personality won't let anybody win over him, Victor would be victorious,  
  
even if he won by death, default.  
  
The other matter was, Logan loved her. once, Victor had sworn to kill anybody  
  
Logan ever cared about, "I'm gonna start with that uppity frail, Jean." Victor  
  
had claimed.  
  
"So it starts!" Logan thought as Jacob howled to be changed. "I'm trying, Jacob!"  
  
Jacob was changed, thank goodness Jacob still had diapers here. Half his stuff  
  
was here, half Raychel's at the cabin, just like a family, only seperated by groung and   
  
walls. Ones of both the litteral and figurative kind. Jean still loved  
  
her dead husband, and Logan, Logan hasn't been able to forgive himself for what he  
  
allowed to happen to Jacobs mother. Thank heavens Jacob hasn't asked why he  
  
doesn't have one. "Lets go see Uncle Chuck!" Logan exclaimed calmly, so as not  
  
to alarm the perceptive child.  
  
"No! Daddy! Raychel!" Jacob cried as he batted his fathers hand.  
  
"We gotta go see Chuck to get Raychel, Sqirt!" Logan said as he picked up the wiggling  
  
child.  
  
Jacob screamed the entire way as Logan stuggled with him.  
  
"Salutations! Beast heralded. "What brings you this way, so early with your  
  
bouncing ball of lungs?"  
  
"Find Jubilee to watch Jacob. We have a problem!" Logan said as he handed Jacob to Beast.  
  
"Somebody knew our systems were down for repair yesterday!"  
  
"Oh? I see. I'll be right back!" Beast sullened.  
  
  
Elsewhere..About Three Miles.  
  
Jean Grey comes through her haze as she realises her name's being called  
  
and she can't sence a thing with her powers.. nothing. Blank.  
  
"Jeannie.. Jeannie, wake up Red." A low, growling canadian voice hisses.  
  
She is bound from the ceiling, Arms above her head, knees sagged to the floor,  
  
intense headache, but she sees, and hears.  
  
"Momma!" Raychel sobs. "Help! Momma!!!"  
  
Sabretooth has her daughter, in his arms, holding her head.  
  
"Don't hurt her! Monster!" Jean yells as she attemps to help her daughter.  
  
"What was that you said to me?" Sabertooth spat back at her. "You are a firecracker."  
  
He repeated as he twisted Raychels neck with a resounding hollowe crack  
  
"And I an an atom bomb!"  
  
"My daughter! No!" Jean cried the heartwrenching sounds no mother should face. "No!"  
  
"Thats right bitch! She's dead!" Sabretooth yelled as he threw the child's  
  
body down and advanced towards Jean. "And you are too!"  
  
"You might not want to come closer, Victor!" Jean said as her voice darkened.  
  
"Why, you can't stop me, cunt rag." Victor laughed.  
  
"No, But Phoenix can!" she screached as her powers melted the inhibitors  
  
and fried Creed. First his skin blistered and peeled away, then so went his muscles  
  
as his bones fell to ash.  
  
She crouched at her falled daughter and rebuilt her neck, cell by cell  
  
as the small amount of life left in Raychel flaired and sputtered back to life.  
  
"Momma?" She said wearly before returning to sleep. 


	3. Let it Go. Aka Surrender.

Disclaimer: I don't own X-Men, And have no permission to use them anyways.  
  
Please, suing me isn't nice.  
  
  
If you like The Bud and you want to meet The Bud, and eat like The Bud  
  
and smell like The Bud, and hang like The Bud, good luck on that one! ;)  
  
And if you'll be in the Athens area, like The Bud, on July 28, Come to the Tate   
  
center, or around there for a Vampire the Masqerade game, I'll be there.  
  
Yer ol' pal, The Bud.  
  
  
Let it Go. aka.. Surrender.  
  
  
Four Years Later..  
  
"They're growing up so fast, Logan!" Jean commented as the two looked for  
  
Jacob and Raychel's school surplies.  
  
"Yep." He replied as he picked up a box of crayons. "Where are those two rugrats  
  
anyways?"  
  
"Where else?" She giggled. "Toys!"  
  
"Yea.. makes sence." Logan laughed too. "Hey, Red, Now that  
  
we got a few alone, how did you escape Sabretooth?" He asked.  
  
"You never did tell me, how he died."  
  
"I don't want to talk about it!" She sniped back as she   
  
threw a pack of paper into the cart.  
  
"I know." He confessed. "Smelled it on you. You did what you had to do  
  
to bring her back."  
  
"Does anyone else know?" She worried.  
  
"No." He comforted her. "Jacob asked me why you aren't his mom yesterday."  
  
"What did you tell him?" Jean said as she switched to telepathy.  
  
"I told him all about his real mother, but that you love him just the same."  
  
Logan told her as he put folders in the basket too. "He was full of questions,  
  
he was worried that Victor would be back."  
  
"But he won't." Jean added.  
  
"He forgave me about his mother." Logan said tearing up. "He wants to see her grave."  
  
"You never showed him?" She puzzled.  
  
"No. Never felt it right." He answered back.  
  
"Do you feel it right now?" She asked.  
  
"Yes. It's time to move on Jeannie. I gotta let my guilt go." He grinned.  
  
"I figure I want you to be part o that."  
  
"Logan.." She said. "I can't. you know that."  
  
"Why does it feel like we've had this conversation before?" he asked.  
  
"We have. Every day for five years!" she exclaimed exausted.  
  
"Every day for five years you've turned me down!" He said. " Why can't you  
  
let him go?"  
  
"By him, you mean Scott?" She started. "You're going to find this odd,  
  
butt, I was joking with Scott one day about Manahtten hot dogs, and how he eats them,  
  
I told him I'd remarry the second it killed him." She contenued. "I just keep picturing  
  
that as his last thoughts. Tears me apart."  
  
"You know thats not what he though, Jeannie!" Logan said as he hugged her.  
  
"He'd want you and Raychel to be happy! I love you! Jacob loves you!  
  
He wants you to be Mom!" He said. "Raychel thinks I'm her dad! Thats what  
  
she tells kids at the park!"  
  
"One day Logan, not now!" She said as she put a bookbag in the cart too.  
  
"Jacob still wants a baby." He said to lighten the mood.  
  
"So does Raychel. It's an consperacy." She played along.  
  
"Lets go find the kids." Logan said. "And Jeannie, I know what you are."  
  
End. 


	4. Chapter 4

I'm not owning of this, please don't sue me!

I wrote this story five years ago and it just looked like I never finished it, so, here it is.

Send My Heart In Three Sheets To The Wind.

"And what am I"? She says as her voice deepens and the room feels as though a shadow has descended upon it and I can feel little flickers of electricity on my skeleton, almost as though it's starting to come alive of it's own power.

"Jeannie? What are you doing?" I start to grow worried as I look down at my hands outstretched outside of my own will and my feet raise an inch off the ground. I know I've said the wrong thing and I'm afraid somebody other than myself is going to get some serious hurt. "Don't do this here! The kids!" I try to reason with her, and to my surprise, it works! She comes back to the same Jeannie that I've known and loved and sets me back down gently. I'm so scared, I almost wet myself and she can sense it, much to my tough guy embarrassment.

"I.. I'm sorry Logan!" She apologizes as she puts her hand to her head. "I shouldn't have done that, I don't know what's come over me!"

"I don't know what to think, Jeannie, but frankly I'm a little turned on! I tell her jokingly, trying to lighten the somber mood she's suddenly in. Just as I reach for her and hold her for a second, to let her know everything's all right, I see two little kids standing there and looking up with us with very excited eyes. "What do you two squirts want?" I mockingly growl as Jean laughs at the two wide grins pointed at us.

"Did you find something you wanted?" She asks Jacob and Raychel as she pushes away from me, much to my dismay. Neither child says anything as they both still have that loopy look plastered to their faces, but at least they can walk behind us to the registers. I'm walking a couple feet behind, still unsure of what to think about what she was going to do to me but when I hear her say " You know your face is going to stay that way, and then Batman's going to think you're the Joker and put you in Arkham." I had to crack up.

First Days

"Wake up, Jake." I sleepily yawn as I say the words that make any child older than five cringe. "It's time for school." I notice that his bed is already made and the smell of breakfast wafts through the air. A sure sign that Jean's here, and after that episode in the store, I'm nervous. I'm not one hundred percent keen on her spending time alone with my kid now until I find out what's up, so I make way to the kitchen where both kids are ready and eager to go. Jean is in her work clothes and my tuxedo apron, placing bacon onto plates as she telekinetically pours orange juice.

"Hi Dad!" Both kids say in unison giggling, Ray in her red pigtails and Jake in his favorite shirt. They've been doing that quite a bit this week, but it hasn't got annoying yet. I notice that the T.V. turns on and begins to flicker, something that happens a lot when Jacob gets excited. "You must be happy that school starts today." I say hoping to calm him down so he doesn't break another set. They're getting expensive to replace.

"Naw." He tells me while nonchalantly swinging his feet under the chair. "Jean made blueberry pancakes."

Now I'm excited. I love those things! I hear her sweet voice enter my mind, asking me quietly if we could talk about what happened. I don't want to talk, I just wish it'd never happened. "When the kids are gone, Jeannie. I don't want them hearing this stuff" I think back at her, and she agrees. Raychel's been picking up on private thoughts on occasion, and we don't want her to know anything about what happened to her, or her mother, or lately, me.

"Do you two want me to drive you to school, or ride the bus?" She asks them as they start to eat. She shouldn't even ask, of course any five year old is going to want the bus!

The rest of the meal goes smoothly except Jacob playing a trick on me that he learned from Jubilee. I had my coffee mug in my left hand, and I don't know why I looked, I wasn't even wearing a watch, but he asked me the time and I got a lap full of hot coffee. "Why do I keep falling for that?" I ask myself as thankfully, my healing factor kicks in.

We walk out to the bus stop in that early autumn air, the leaves haven't begun to change, nor has quite all the sting of summer gone, but the changes are floating in the air. The wind keeps changing direction and the birds have started their journey and the Canadian geese honk as they fly in perfect V's.

Jean and I walk side by side, her arms folded neatly across her chest, mine in my pockets. We watch the children about five paces ahead of us talking about everything that they're going to do today. They almost didn't get to go to public school, I wanted them home taught, but Jean thought it important that they learn to interact with other children, normal children, so that they have compassion and understanding for those who may fear and hate them for being normal. I think she was just tired of working at home.

"I'm going into town to present some new ideas to the office." She small talks with me, almost trying to avoid the pressing issue at hand. "Would you like a lift?"

"Much obliged, Jeannie." I say as I tip my old leather hat. Sometimes I think about how much I'd like to see that hat on the top of one of the posts on her bed and Jean blushes as Raychel asks me "Why would you want to do that?" I've no choice but to use the very grown up, " I'll tell you when you're older." Even though I dread that conversation.

"Oh!" She whines back at me. "You always say that! I want to be older now!"

"I'd rather you stayed my little girl." I tell her. Thankfully, the bus comes and the bus driver tells them to say goodbye to Mom and Dad. "By Mom and Dad!" they say as they fearlessly brave the unknown better than most adults I know. "Are they twins?" The bus driver asks us looking at Jean as though she's thinking, "There is no way that lady ever had twins!"

"No." We tell her, "But the story would take all morning." I turn to Jean and I can tell she's worried. Her green eyes are searching my steel gray ones, almost as though the answers to the world lay buried in them "Logan, about the other day..." she starts as she uncrosses her arms, but I stop her. "I just want to forget that day, I want to forget that feeling and I want to just forget what you tried to do to me." I tell her pissed.

"What do you mean, "What I tried to do to you"? She gets defensive. I know I got a fight brewing on my hands.

"You were going to kill me and don't tell me you weren't!" I spit back. "I know that feeling!"

She wipes off her face and looks me dead in the eye. "I admit I got rough with you, but I wasn't going to kill you. If I was, you'd be nothing but a vague recollection right now." I know she's right. I know she could do it, but I want to know why.

"What made you pull a psycho move like that on me? And more to the point, have you ever done that to those kids?" I'm up in her face right now, and she's right back in mine. I'm trying not to pull out my claws and she's trying not to bash me into the nearest tree.

"You arrogant little runt!" She throws at me as an insult "I've never harmed a hair on ether of those children's heads! The nerve of you!" I can feel the heat pulsating off her body. It's driving me almost as insane as she is.

"You uppity little bitch!" I hiss back at her, as I just can't help myself anymore. There was only an inch or so between our shouting mouths and I close that gap. Her moans and protests are muffled as I hold her close, but when I break the kiss, I get a surprise, She kicks me square in the jewels.

"Don't call me a bitch!" She yells at me as she kicks me again. "Oh! Logan! Are you all right?" She genuinely apologizes as she helps me up. "Force of habit!"

"Get away from me!" I cough at her as I recover. Unless you've got anything of interest to say, get away from me now, or I will hurt you."

"Scott might not be dead!" She says as she backs away. She knows she can stop me at almost any time, but I know when I feel a berserker coming on, and the last time, she was lucky to escape with her life and the children. Nothing holds me back, not even that blasted force field of hers.

"What?" I snap back to reality. That worked, I'm not going to kill her yet.

"Raychel described him to a T. She said a man at the park told her that he was her daddy." She says as she places a hand on my shoulder. "I'm not sure what to do about it. She's started to ask questions." I take her hand off me and throw it away. "Don't touch me." I tell her as I start walking towards her car. "I don't suppose you even saw this man?" I ask as she follows me to her car pleading with me to turn around.

"For a moment. But after that, we left and never went back to that park." She tells me as she sits down in the drivers seat and moves a doll from my seat.

"Jean, how can that be? You were there when he died." I remember it too well, that day might well be the reason why Jean would never date me, would never be with me and has refused my constant proposals.

"I know, Logan. I know that if it weren't for you, I wouldn't be here, Raychel wouldn't ether." She breathes out a sigh as she starts the car. "I know how much I owe you, but Scott was my husband and you killed him. I can't seem to get over that. But Logan, what if that was him? " She pauses. "What if he expects to come back?"

"It was him, or you Jeannie. I chose you." She knows all of this. Funny thing is, we never talked about what happened. Scott was being controlled. Not by anything evil, but by medication and telepathic means. After he was taken over by Apocalypse, he was never the same. He was violent, distant and very abusive. After a few months of treatment, he seemed to get better, even like he was, a complete prick. So, his treatments were reduced and he went home, but then, the hallucinations started and he had beaten Jean up badly more than once. After all that Apocalypse did to him, and his treatments, her telepathy didn't work on him. Anyone else, yes, but her frequency was void, something with his brain waves mimicking too closely hers.

She must have been going to leave him, because he beat and raped her to the point where she was just a bloody heap on the boathouse floor. I was going to go fishing on the river when I heard her pleading for him to stop, and I heard his optic blast fire and her scream in pain, so I dropped my tackle box, rod and reel and ran to see what was wrong. There he was, completely still, with his face so distorted, I almost couldn't tell that that was Scott, rather than En Saba Nur. He was standing above her with nothing on but his boxers and glasses ready to fire the finishing blow and I reacted. This time, Scott was also a bloody heap on the floor.

Three weeks later, Jean found out she was pregnant. She never would let anyone really get close to her, or touch her after Scott died, which is more than likely why I got kicked in the sack, and why I got roughed up in the store, she's afraid of loving me. She's afraid of what I can do, what she's seen me do. I think she's also afraid of what she could do to me.

"Why were you going to tell what happened to Raychel?" She asks me. I suppose she doesn't want old wounds opened again, frightened that her child would be taken away from her if anyone else knew what she'd become, or what she did.

"I wasn't. I'd never do anything to you or your daughter. I know you feel that she's all you have in this world, but you have us too. Me and Jacob, you've got to know that!" I hope she knows that after five plus years of being puked on, fixing scraped knees and getting up at all hours of the night getting water, changing sheets and being the one to walk the dog she gave him four years ago. Not to mention that every year, Jacob has given her a mother's day gift. This year he gave her a turtle he found in the yard and named it Hank.

"I know that, Logan, but I can't ever risk going through that again. I won't do it if only for Ray's sake." Jean's resolve is strong on this, and I know how she can be. If I had to go through what she went through, I'd hate men too; I just don't understand why she thinks Scott was so great.

"That's why you should do this again! You're already his Mom, Ray already calls me her Dad! Let's just make it official! I tell her. I've told her for years, and I'd give up too if those kids of ours didn't keep it up, and if every little thing about her didn't drive me absolutely mad. The thing is, I think I've got an effect on her too. I can smell it on her every time our hands accidentally touch, every time our skin slightly grazes each other's when we move past one another, and most definitely as we kissed back there. I'm almost sure she came. And I'm almost sure she broke something on me when she kneed me.

"Logan, I've told you at least a hundred times, I'm not interested. Where do you want to be dropped off at?" She's growing exasperated at me, but I know she secretly enjoys the attention. Her daughter told me so over our weekly tea party. She also asked me why her mommy likes to see me without my shirt on.

"Harry's pub. Someone there owes me three grand." I tell her. "I want to take Jake and Ray out to that place they like, the one with the big rat, if it's alright with you."

"If you can handle both of them." She tells me as we pull into Salem, her first stop before she heads to the big city. "I'll pick you up in a few hours, then we'll get the kids." She's being short with me, as she always is when I bring up family. Her parents even call Jake their adopted grandson, what the hell is her problem?

"Don't bother, my scoots up here." I sneak another kiss, just a quick one before I run like hell. She'll be blushing all day and I'll be smelling her on my clothes too. She drives off to do her thing and I see something that makes me stop dead in my tracks.

Scott was glaring dead ahead at me.

"What the hell?" I curse as I run across that street. "I killed you!"

"I know." He sneers at me. "But thankfully, someone I know had a replica body ready for me."

"After what you did, Bub, She ain't going back with you!" I say in a whispered snarl. "From what I'm smelling off you, you ain't even Scott anymore, you can't even be human."

"No. I'm not." He tells me simply. "I'm something better, and as for Jean, take her, I don't care. I just want my daughter, and if I get more out of this, fine. Jean's nothing but breeding cattle any ways."

I blink my eyes and look around but he's gone. I almost feel like I was talking to myself. All I do know is that that was not Scott, at least not as I knew him, that was just something wearing his form.

I gotta go and get my scoot and three grand, then I need to save my family.


	5. Into The Pain

There is no way I even own any of this, please don't sue. This ties into many of my old stories from years back, except most of the Twinkie ones. Sorry about this being late, My youngest son David fell and broke his femur Saturday.

In through the Pain.

"I saw him, Jeannie. Scott was there, but he's not really even Scott anymore." I shout into my cell phone as I race towards Jean's office on my bike. The line keeps going out on me, but I think the message got through as I hear a garbled "I'll be home as soon as I can". I duck out of the tunnel and relay that I'm headed in her direction and she switches to telepathic communication.

"Logan, Don't bother." She tells me. "He's right here! Just go and make sure the kids are safe! Please, Logan!" She sounds frantic, scared almost. I don't know how he got there so fast, and I don't want to leave her alone, but I do as she asks and I turn my bike around and churn dirt up the other way.

"What do you want, Scott." Jean asks as she takes a step backwards, putting her hands up defensively. She knows what kind of man he had been corrupted into before his "death". His body had been stolen from the very room he was slain in less than five minutes after he fell. There was a flash of light and all that was ever found of him as some blood on the light beige carpet. "Before you can't contain yourself and get on me, get the hell off." He coldly drawls at her in a slight Nebraskan twang. "There's nothing I want from you that hasn't begun to dry up."

He was born in Alaska and raised in Nebraska; some of the frigid Alaskan air still freezes through his blood. Just being near him, the way he is now, what he was turned into is enough to chill to the very soul. "Do you think I'm going to strike you down here?" He laughs at her. "I'm going to kill you, make no mistake about that, moreover, I'll be waiting for you after your meeting. Don't contact anyone, don't ask for help, If you do, I'll have the boy taken down too." He speaks in hushed tones as he steps forward and whispers in her ear, his body too close for her own comfort. "We need to talk, Wife."

"Scott, I'm not your wife." She replies in a frightened, wavering little murmur. She's shaking as though death itself has graced her chest. " I divorced you."

"I know. I don't give a damn. I'm still going to get what I want, then, I'll make you suffer. But first, you will give me my daughter." His red glasses are glinting in the sun, with this new body, he doesn't need them, but the new appearance of his eyes are frightfully close to another man's; Gambit, now known to be his brother. His new body is essentially Scott, but with a few of Gambit's genes to better fulfill that which Scott's benefactor had in mind. He is a man, If he can even still be called one, known by the name of Nathaniel Essex; Mr. Sinister to those who have sense enough to fear him, whose only goal is to perfect mutant kind, a complete mad man.

"What is it you want?" She just barely breathes. She knows what this man is capable of. She has reservations about him just being here, his motives mostly, the lack of humanity to be certain.

"A son, and if you don't want you're entire new family slaughtered as punishment, you will yield me one." He tells her as he grips her hair and pulls her close enough to feel the heat off his breath.

"Why do you need one from me?" She questions, nearly at tears as she tries to pull away.

"I need a new body." He responds as he lets her go and walks away. "I'll be waiting."

Just like the end of all rains at the death of the monsoon season, he's gone. She knows he'll keep his promise to return and his threats are as good as done; He's just that kind of man. When he threatened to beat her, he did. When he promised that she would regret every time she didn't give in to him physically, he was right. He'd take whatever he wanted from her, whenever he wanted it, and it's the same now.

He wasn't always like that, only during the last little bit of their marriage. Only after Apocalypse had taken Scott's body, only after she had failed to remove all of Apocalypse's mind from what had melded with his. Scott had always blamed her for his misery, but he was the one who chose to fight En Saba Nur. He was the one that risked so much to play a hero. In truth, he was at fault for everything he did to her. She had done all she could, only a few could have done more.

She remembers when the beatings started, how hard she tried to keep the other X-Men from finding out, from knowing what he had done to her. Then, he had started to abuse her sexually; the beatings weren't enough anymore. He a psyonic inhibiter placed in the house somewhere, she could never find it, but her powers wouldn't work, His functioned flawlessly though.

He had gotten her pregnant, once, about a year before Ray was conceived, then he started accusing her of infidelity, and one night, nearly cut her in half with his optic blasts. That is how the X-Men came to know what horrible things had gone on in that converted boat -house. She survived, barely, but the baby was not so fortunate. Beast did a great job, as well as one of the healers to fix her wounds, but nothing could ever repair the hurt of loosing her child. She was going to name him Adam.

He left for a short while after that. Much had happened in the six months he was gone, Cody, a friend from Rogue's past returned, Forge and Storm reunited, and she and Logan had become closer. She had also divorced Scott. It wasn't easy, but Warren had helped getting the paperwork through. The grounds for the divorce were listed as abandonment and neglect. He is the only other person who knew that she had left Scott

Then, the day that it became final, He returned. He was furious, and let it show. Logan thinks she was leaving Scott, but she was trying to get away. She'd hoped that Scott would stop after using her body and leave, but he kept coming at her, and she would have died right there on that wooden floor had Logan not intervened. That encounter left her with Raychel.

"Logan!" She thinks to herself as she climbs the stairs to her meeting. "There is no way Scott can hear our psychic link!"

"Logan?" She sends out on the blue mental strand that bonds the two deeper than any flesh could do. Her thoughts reach Logan as gentle as a butterfly landing on a leaf.

"I'm here Darlin', and the kids are fine." He tells her as he mentally touches her cheek. "They're about to break for lunch."

"Logan, listen to me, I've got much to tell you and you might not understand a lot of it, but just know none of it was meant to hurt you."

She begins to fill Logan in on so much that she's hid from him over the last six years. He comes to understand much of the why's and questions, and despite her fears, he's not upset over her secrets, he just can't get why she wouldn't trust him.

"You divorced him after the first time he almost killed you?" He asks miffed. "Have you forgotten who it was that…After everything… Why Jean? I carried you out of that house! That was my blood Hank pumped into you!"

"I was scared, Logan, and after everything I'd been though with Scott, I didn't think I'd ever trust anyone again. Logan, I owe you so much, much more than I can repay and I know that. I owe you my daughter's life and mine. Can you ever forgive me?"

"Our daughter, Jean. And Jacob's our son." He tells her with compassion in his mind's voice. "I won't let anyone harm them, and I won't let anyone harm you."

"But what about this whole thing with Scott?" She asks worried as she looks out her office window at Scott. He's sitting at a bench, looking at her window in his usual calm fashion, but due to the situation, it's kind of creepy.

"You said he'd be waiting for you? So will I." Logan growls through the mental line.

"Someone needs to keep the children safe." She tells him. "I'll think of something, but he can't be let on. You know what he said he'd do and we can't risk it."

She gets through her presentation, standing ovations, as usual. Everybody tells her that the leather line is so much better than her brightly colored spandex line a few years back, Everybody tells her she's come a long way in her designs, that she's going to be rich someday, but that doesn't help her when she steps outside.

"I told you not to call for help." She hears called out behind her. "You couldn't listen."

"How? How did you even know?" She asks as she turns to face the man that has haunted her dreams and was the sustenance of her nightmares. "Don't tell me you can read minds now."

"You are too predictable." He sneered as he came up to her, face to face. "And I can do so much more than you think I can. Under Sinister's tutelage, I've become so much more than I ever could with Charles. Or even with you holding me back." He held her elbow as he pulled her along.

She pulls away from him defiantly and pushes him away. "You keep saying that, Scott, I'm not buying it. You can't hurt me anymore!"

"So you would like to think. I can hurt you, I'll kill you should it please me." He reaches behind him to show her something. "I think, though, I'd rather get what I want from you willingly, that way, I don't get any distasteful injuries." He tells her elegantly. "I trust you know what this is?"

"Jacob's Backpack!" She gasps. "If you hurt him I swear I'll…" But he cuts her off.

"The child is fine, but if I can so easily procure this, he would be no problem to dispatch." He looks at her darkly. "No matter where you hide him." He pulls her head towards his, roughly enough to make her cry out, almost in a squeak. "You'll come with me now, and give me what I want." He creates a teleportation portal behind him, courtesy of technology of Mr. Sinister and starts to pull her through. It's only an instant, but her powers flair up almost as though under their own control, and all of New York is bathed in a warm orange light, and Scott ends up missing an arm through his own portal as any part of him touching her disintegrates in a half second. Almost reminiscent of an unattended cigarette as it burns itself up, with the ashes falling to the ground. She has to protect her family.

"Logan?" She calls so sweetly along that same mental cord "Can you hear me?"

"I'm here and what was that? The sky looked like the northern lights came early!" He says to her concerned. "Are you O.K?"

"I'm fine." She's relieved to hear his voice. "I'm coming right now to get you and the kids."

"What do you want me to do with my scoot?" Logan asks.

"Follow us in it to the mansion, I've somewhere I want to go." She tells him as she reaches her own car. "You were right about not putting the kids into school."

"Well, now we have and they like it, I'm not pulling them out now." He starts to argue. "Where did you want to go?"

"Logan, you said you'd do anything to protect us, right?" She beseeches him.

"I would, what has this got to do with anything?" This crazy woman's got him puzzled.

"Logan, would you marry me? If not today, then tomorrow?" She pleads with him. She knows that this is absolutely the only way for any of them to ever be safe again. "Logan?"

"I'm thinking, Red." He tells her jokingly.

"Well?" She presses him.

"Yes."


End file.
